argh, today is a lazy day for me..
feel like staying at home and do nth.
wahahahas.


ytd went to Je to do maths..
hmmms, i reali hope that all the time that i use for doing maths will be useful.. =)
last nite, it was a very divine nite for me.
holy spirit chit-chatted with me.
and i tell u, when holy spirit chit chat with ya, tears will flow unknowingly..
i am just too touch by him..
before i fall asleep...
holy spirit made me sit down and rmber y i do wat i do..
is it jus a routine?


and as i was thinking wat i have been doing..
i am asking myself y am i doing all these?
the great commission, love of God blah blah blah
jus went thru my mind..
i am thinking, in the eyes of the world...
wat i have been doing is quite dumb isnt it?
y on earth would i use my time on outreaching, cg...
y is it my life is revolve ard ppl and ministy..
y did i invest my emotions, my youth to this?
and worldly ppl claim that all these are jus so meaningless...
so is that true?
yups, these are wat i ask the holy spirit..
i dun reali noe wat he thinks after all these questions are 'bombarded' to him..
its like, not that i duno the values of doing all these...
however, since he made me sit down and reali ponder, den i reali start digging everything and i want to renew this passion again by being convicted y i do wat i do all over again =)


and guess wat?
his answer jus warmth my heart...
i was reminded that being is more impt den doings..
the things that i have been doing can be quite dumb if i focus on the 'doings' more den the 'beings'
and also, holy spirit reminded me wat i have learn in hope sem, ministry is the result of love, not e other way round.
if the love of god jus flood u, its very natural to do his work!
and mind u, doing his work is not jus to repay wat he has done for u, cos nv will we come to a point that we can repay wat he has done.
so i ask holy spirit...
so coming to noe u is more den jus investing my life into ur kingdom right?
and yups, its more den that.coming to noe God is more den the doings!!
coming to noe jesus means i am knowing wat is love, wat i joy, wat is peace..
to noe jesus is abt being saved and forgiven..
to noe jesus, i will find a listener and a fren that understands me thru`ly..
coming to noe jesus means i can walk in the light and wun live in comdemnation anymore.
to noe jesus is thay i can bid goodbye to my ugly past.
and the list goes on...


and yes, we are given a chance to noe this God is our privillege..
and we are supposed to go begging in order to have this privillege,
however, it was given to us freely..
and many ppl jus dun appreciate it.
some rejected him, jus claim that serving him is tough and therefore gave up, some even claim that watever he/she has now is much more impt den god.
its ridiculous, the cross is jus so insignificant in their eyes.


and conclusion made was ting has to learn to focus her eyes on God.
if we didnt focus on god, watever we do will be meaningless isnt it?
imagine doing God's work without God in the picture?
sounds illogical isnt it?
when i learn how to get my focus right,
the things that i do is not meaningless as the world claim to be.
i am in the business of winning souls.
and its impt, cos if i lost a deal, its not money that i am losing, its one precious soul.
its not logical to tik that god's love, the cross, souls are meaningless and insignificant!
argh!
and i am convicted once again =)
thankiew holy spirit!


a few days ago, someone ask me this question...
"y is it that our heart can be empty? is it we are not god-centered enough?"
initially, i didnt tik much abt this question.
i tot that its normal and bcos we have this god-shaped hole, and when our heart its empty, we can fill it with the spirit.
but ytd, i am still thinking abt this.
i ask myself... "is it reali normal to feel empty?"
and i asked david when i met him ytd.
he answer me a lot and this strucked me..
"its not empty, i can say is tempted"
and this jus answered my question.


cos i was wondering that since we have jesus to fill this god-shaped hole, there is no reason to feel empty anymore..
but we cant deny the fact that we do feel empty at times.
and david's ans made me learn and realised something.
its not that god doesnt wana fill our god-shaped-hole..
sometimes, its simply us not allowing him to do so..and also, y did he use the word "tempted" instead of "empty" ?
to me, i tik its cos when we are tempted, we want the things that we noe we cannot have it.
since its ungodly desire, how to have it? right?
so when we cant get wat we want, not exactly cant get, is choose not to get..
its natural to feel empty, cos since we have an ungodly desire, God doesnt have the space to stand in our heart anymore.
so, if we allow god to fill us, and to flood his presence in us, and when we are in his presence, the ungodly desires will go away, and that 'empty' feeling will go away as well =)


wah, long entry...
i have learn alot within these 2 days.new conviction and my relationship with God has grown to another level =)
ting shall be focus on God more den anything else and i noe wat i am doing.
the love of god is jus so awesome.
if u tik its dumb, this simply means that u haben taste wat God's love is all abt.
if u are on the verge of giving up, den focus ir eyes on god again...
his love, the cross... isnt this enough?
y give up? =)
alright, i love God.
bye!